Christians and Wiccans sharing prayer space

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Permalink Reply by Mary Blood on February 22, 2011 at 6:02pm

When I was a faithful church goer, g.a., an active member of the local youth group, and all that, I raised just those very points to my parents - I didn't dare in church. Their response was simply, "Oh I don't know about that!" Just like most Christians, they were afraid to consider what actually makes sense instead of what they've been taught. I've actually considered being a Christian witch, and I see nothing wrong with it, but the Egyptian deities just attracted me more.

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Permalink Reply by Kastrata Almohnd Maeve on February 21, 2011 at 11:43pm

Honestly it seems more of a dominance thing in his view. Arrogance and unwillingness to accept anothers beliefs as equal has manifested its self in a form of dominance i.e. I can be anywhere and you can only be where I tell you. No matter where yuo move it to he will find a way to have you relocate only to ensure that you see that his is in control and yours is not.
I would put a stand right now and let him know who you are and what you believe. It is a marriage based off of understanding and equality not dominance. My ex wife was the same way and I would always cave till one day I refused to and let her and her mother both know who I was and what I believed and that it was just as important to me as there's was to them. To this day they despise me for it, but I will never waiver in my beliefs and practices for another. Either I am equal or I am will be nothing to you and move on..but never will I allow another to force themselves upon me in such a way.
You should act the same no matter the consequences that come you must face them and prove not only to him but to yourself who you are and what you believe is true to yourself. Otherwise if you allow him to continue then one day you find that not only do you have no where to go, but that your own beliefs have begun to wane and fade.
Fear is but shadow on the ground waiting to startle you. Shine the light and force it out and away and no longer shall it follow and haunt you.
With respect
Rev.Kastrata Almohnd Maeve
House of Maeve

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Permalink Reply by Mary Blood on February 22, 2011 at 6:07pm

As I said before, he never asked me to relocate, he wanted to share. And so far, we are doing quite well. I've not noticed any negative energies being left around, although I did a working asking for the energies to harmonize and build upon each other like a musical ensemble rather than clashing, which seems to have worked out quite well.

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Permalink Reply by Amberhawk on February 23, 2011 at 12:11am

If this is the case then perhaps you could ask him if you could 'wiccanize' the rest of the home to make it more balanced and peaceful throughout. Better yet, maybe even just do it in subtle ways without any fanfair. If the entire home is more balanced maybe it will help him to manage his own anger issues better as well as see your practice and faith as a more positive one.

My experiences are not great ones. I was married to a southern baptist for 15 years and we had shared a home with his parents all that time. I hated it but made due, we were suposed to get our own eventually. He wasn't a negative or angery person, and he didn't really try to insult me in any way for my different beliefs. H just didn't believe that way himself. The trouble was his family. They were not so agreeable and he wasn't one to stand up for me or support me as someone who claims to love you is suposed to. I tried to make it a balanced and peaceful place, however he had sisters that were not willing to let that happen. They all have a distructive and disruptive nature, jealous and angry and upturning anything they wanted simply because they couldn't acheive it themselves. I think if we could have had a home of our own it would have worked out better. Unfortunately he insisted on letting them mix it up.

I ended up having to leave to gain my peace. As I understand it, that is the most typical end to such a union and usually the most peaceful one. He is still there but feels at fault now for not being the protective, supportive person he realizes now that I needed as a spouse so he's trying to be supportive as he knows how now. I really do hope yours works out better.

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Permalink Reply by Rob M on January 24, 2012 at 4:15pm

MM Mary I have a suggestion for you since no one else has seemed to think of it ... how about a curtain to put around your altar space much like they hide the cross in many christian churches between easter and good friday?? Or perhaps you move your altar into one corner and he gets a table or some such under the window?? There should be no issues with sharing the sacred space. Many of the wiccan meetings that I currently go to are on a military base and are in chapels there. The religious artifacts (crosses and such) are covered when the service isn't going on. This is where my idea came from by the way. Some thing you and he need to possibly sit down and discuss is paths to the divine. You are just on a different path. You may have more or less or the same amount of steps but your path is yours to walk, just as you can not walk his. Often when two people sit and talk about things like religion and they start using words other than what their religion normally uses they have a break through. along those lines perhaps suggest he cant use God/angels/saints and you cant say Universal Divine/god/goddess/ancestors/fey. keep in mind these are just a few suggestions to ease some of the tension and help him understand your paths are very simular they just use different words for the same things.

Hope that helps and Blessed Be

Rob

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Permalink Reply by Phoenix Rising on January 25, 2012 at 3:54am

If you haven't noticed any change in the energies when you use the room for ritual/prayer, why worry? He knows you are Wiccan, and use the room for that as well as your crafting and sewing, and he still wishes to pray there because it is the most 'peaceful' room as well as having the best view. As you're planning to build a place that will be HIS private space, then I don't see that there should be any serious issues in the near future. If he starts evincing irritability, then ask him outright if he would feel more comfortable with having your altar curtained when you aren't using the room, as Rob suggested. This is a common solution to shared spaces for different religions.
I wouldn't advise using Christian statuary or suchlike, as he may see it as 'desecration' of his religion. Also, he may come to believe that you are close to 'converting' to Christianity, and the situation may get tense when he realizes that you have simply ADDED his God to your personal Deities. i suspect he has more respect for you as an avowed Pagan than as someone who would mix Christianity and Paganism~~ Funny attitude, but I've seen it before~

I'm married to a man who is part Lakota, and follows the Native American religion of the Sioux, so I have no particular issues with him. We cheerfully each follow our own Paths, and blended them for our Handfasting last year very amicably. My Mother, on the other hand, is a very devout Lutheran, and doesn't understand my Paganism, but allows that "As long as I believe in SOMETHING, it's better than she expected I would turn out - " LOL!! I've been exploring other religions since High School, and finally found my heart's home here, with the Goddesses AND Gods~~ I think for a while she thought I was an atheist! (Probably during my Buddhist phase) LOL!! Probably the only thing I've never considered~~

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Permalink Reply by Rachael Sue Rubin on January 25, 2012 at 7:35am

You guys all energies from praying is the same energy from the universe, There isn't different energies for each religion.

Do a test, say a prayer to the Sun or Moon in 5 different religions, if you can feel energy IT IS THE SAME ENERGY!!!

The universal energy does not make distinction, MAN does.

God energy is god energy, goddess energy is goddess energy, tree energy is tree energy, earth energy is earth energy, and so on....

No matter what name or language people it is all the same energy, There is one power in the universe.....

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Permalink Reply by Phoenix Rising on January 25, 2012 at 1:21pm

Rachael, i was referring to negative/peaceful energies arising from his possible resentments, not Christian/Wiccan energies...

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Permalink Reply by Rachael Sue Rubin on January 25, 2012 at 2:01pm

I was referring to everyone, but i think if she does (or he) feels bad energy from either one of them praying in the same space, it would be the resentment of each other, not energies from either religion.

Now my god i don't mean they have a bad relationship, (even the best relationships have disagreements, and quarrels, in them) it is just human nature, if you are with someone a long time, to feel resentment or let it build up when you disagree on something, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And it is also human nature when you are with someone, to find things that annoy them or trigger a negative response from each other, (My boyfriend does it to me, by saying things like, That religion of yours is weird, (he is christian, and a retired cop to boot) So i would think that if she felt any energy other than positive from praying it is coming from him. None of us a perfect, and we are still human, and like to annoy the ones we love.

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Permalink Reply by Phoenix Rising on January 25, 2012 at 2:20pm

Oh, I agree, Rachael! Resentments arise most often from annoyances not discussed, or in some cases, even not acknowledged.~~ I think the first signs of such are energies in turmoil... and we who work with energies should be able to sense such energy disturbances easily, and track down and isolate the causes of them.

I have said for years that the hardest thing in the world is for two adults to live together happily~~ When counseling couples, I stress that relationships require WORK to maintain them, otherwise the relationship slides into both parties feeling taken for granted, and the concomitant results of anger and hurt feelings and discord. An accurate, timely communication of equals is one of the keys, if not the main key, to keeping a relationship vital and living and growing.

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Permalink Reply by Fantumofthewinds on January 26, 2012 at 8:30am

Blessings and Good morning , to me this sounds like a good thing , what ever name [ we ] place our practices upon. from every belief system and yes even Pagan we all have our gods and Goddesses, we all have our demi-gods that help to enlighten us , from the saints to the angels to what most call [ gods]. It seems to me this would only inpower the room more, and fill it with much energy, in my understanding, I from my point dont think any thing is wrong with this, in fact I look upon this as a blessing that should draw you both closer , because you are both committed to what you believe, thereby teaching each other, for as well all know or should know : " God has many names " , many faces, and it is all ' spirit ' and spirit takes any form because it lives. so I would hope that you can both share in the delight in what ever form. All religions are a fragment of another BB

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