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Question Time: Empaths

Do you think one can be an Empath and dont have much empathy for the human race? Do you think that an Empath are to involved with empathy as an emotion to be able to split the ability from the person?

This is why I am asking this question: I have always been a bit more sensitive and early on in my life long before I discovered paganism, I use to "switch on" to people and like most Empaths will tell you I had my ear bend in all directions to accommodate peoples fears, pain and sadness... however as I became older and discovered Paganism and subsequently researched more about being an Empath, I chose to switch this off, as I was emotionally drained and I have become intolerant of people and their constant need to blab their lives to me... I just did not care anymore and anger and pain was driving me insane... (more than likely theirs) - over the years I have managed it very well, by staying away from crowded places, keeping people at a distance etc., however it seems the box I have put it in - no longer wants to stay shut. I want to re-discover this - but with more control.

Do you have tips to share, especially ones which I can use to keep myself sane!!!

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Permalink Reply by Catherine on March 16, 2011 at 3:30am

Im hearing you Cerridwin and preparation is certainly one of the keys. Im an empath and also work in the 'caring for people field'. The amount of families in my caseload, 18 at the moment, all in crisis with children who have disabilities and challenging behaviours. At times I feel overwhelmed and drained but slowly I am developing rituals to cope as I love my work and my empathic skills are one of my strong points, but Im no good to anyone a burnt out shell. Part of coming her is that Ive realised that I need a strong spiritual focus in my life to do my job well, hmmm just like I need Dancing to combat my stress levels. For me is finding that balance with my life and also substantial protection against being drawn in, I dont want to shut down I want to be genuinely open but at the same time protected from taking it all on board and home with me. I have had many nights of no sleep and stress in the past year ...so not where I want to be yet but slowly developing supports, sifting through what works for me.

As for your question hmmmm I have been through this myself. I went through a period where consciously shut off and retreated, I needed to. I avoided helping. I needed time to grow myself and heal. I think this is a natural path for an empath, learning that you can shut off if you really need to, finding the boundaries that you need to be safe and how to nuture yourself. Sometimes for me its just admitting that Ive become drawn in, just admitting that seems to help, then I can devise ways of managing me. Learning from eachother always helps, happy to have ideas also...maybe we need a group, is there one?

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Permalink Reply by Cerridwen Freya on March 16, 2011 at 7:59pm

I completely understand you, Catherine. I sometimes think that because we're supposed to be there for them to listen to, they will dump every single thing on us. I have people give me their entire life story during my evaluations even if it has nothing to do with their current injuries or situation. As for how everyone in here says about us becoming doormats, yes, it appears to be that some days people think of me like that. I had to learn to identify which situation require Sympathy vs. Empathy. I've tried shutting down or shutting it off, it made me feel like "I didn't give a damn" anymore and it just wasn't me. Times like this I just step away, go into a quiet room or get out of my office and re-evaluate myself. Setting boundaries DO help. Even if sometimes I seem to be stand-offish, I had to do it just to keep my sanity. BB.

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Permalink Reply by Sandra on March 16, 2011 at 4:06pm

Hi Benjamin,
I´m an empath too. The time i managed to shut it down, I ended up anemic as my ability to work energy also stopped. So for me it is not the solution. There are forms to control it.
It is a matter of stages. The way you describe relationships are second chakra relationships.
Once you move to third chakra in you spiritual development, you understand that because you can feel people doesn´t mean that you have to satisfy their desires. And it is ok, that doesn´t make you bad, it makes you wise.

When you move to forth chakra, your heart chakra gets active, and there you can start relating with others again as you are able to connect with their higher selves and see the big picture. So you connect from a different place, not obliging to their petty wants but becoming a channel for them you move forward on their own spiritual development, sometimes this means making some people very upset.

There are some good books and ebooks in the area, for obvious reasons this is my recommendation:

Empath Basics Ebook

Sandra :)

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Permalink Reply by Benjamin on March 17, 2011 at 6:31am

You are a STAR!!! Busy downloading it!!

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Permalink Reply by Sandra on March 17, 2011 at 6:46am

LOL :)

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Permalink Reply by Sandra on March 17, 2011 at 11:14am

Hi BellaDonna,

you can´t shield from your children, the only thing you can do is flush and ground. There is a balancing exercise that includes flushing and grounding. It will keep you stable, clean your chakras first so the energy flow goes easier.

when you receive the strongest vibes from the kids, make the vortex flushing exercise. It will help you and them to flush. And you will deal with the energies at a superficial level so you will not really be affected by them. This is important as once you make those emotions yours they mess up your chemical balance and go right to your health.

your fibromyalgia might reduce too.

Sandra :)