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It was January 2008, I had spent much of the previous year trying to consciously change my energy pattern. For several years, since our girls had moved out, my husband and I found ourselves in nurturing situations with teenagers moving in with us for various reasons. Once someone commented that I ran a home for wayward girls and I said no, I provided a home for girls with wayward parents.
Raising teenagers is a big responsibility and I was getting tired. I'd been studying energy long enough to know that I had to initiate the change I wanted within myself. So, in 2007 I began to affirm that I would see through the obligations that I had already accepted, but that I was open to a new energy pattern in my life.
I've learned not to be too specific in my requests because only the Universe knows what lessons I still need to learn and will provide the situations I need to learn them. I did ask that I find a direction that didn't involve so much washing, cooking, cleaning and transporting.
It just wasn't happening. With the coming of the New Year, I was anxious for a sign of change. Then, on January 6th, the day of the Epiphany, I had an epiphany. I was standing at my sink doing dishes and wondering what was going on with this crazy energy pattern that was still bringing all this maternal energy into my life. I didn't exactly hear a voice, but I got the intense feeling of a totally exasperated message that said for me to, 'check my affirmations.'
I have been saying daily affirmations since 1973. I began my daily affirmation with, 'Praise God and Goddess, Mother of all creation. I am Goddess. I am Grateful." The voice was telling me that I had been affirming myself, "Mother of all creation!" all these years. What did I expect? I immediately dropped, "Mother of all creation" from my affirmation and energy started shifting right away. On January 26th I dreamed:
"I got home and it was infested with hundreds of spiders, all shapes, sizes, colors, furry, hanging, crawling, webs all over. I wasn't afraid and didn't kill any of them. I was just trying to sweep them up and toss them outside, but they were all running and hiding from me."
This dream signaled the arrival of Grandmother Spider into my life. In Navajo mythology, Grandmother Spider weaves the web of life; she weaves the world continuously into being and dissolution with the stories she tells...As we are all connected to one another through Her web, Her thread also connects us to the world of spirit. (www.threadsofspiderwomen.blogspot.com)
Grandmother Spider also brings creativity, balance, understanding, communication and story telling to those gifted with her Wisdom/Medicine.
"For the two-legged beside whom Spider crawls, there will exist a depth of creativity that may manifest in a myriad of ways... Such creativity is divinely inspired and a gift that is given by the Great Mystery. The paradox in this for the Spider individual may be that they will DENY AN AWARENESS OF THEIR OWN CREATIVITY FOR MANY YEARS in deference to other areas of their lives that call for attention. Often, THE AREA THAT DESTRACTS THE SPIDER SOUL IS THAT OF RELATIONSHIPS AS MUCH LIKE GRANDMOTHER SPIDER WAS FOREVER AWARE OF HER CHILDREN, so the two-legged with this creature being as a Totem will TEND TO FOCUS MUCH OF THEIR ATTENTION ON LOVED ONES RATHER THAN NURTURING AND FULFILLING THEIR OWN NEEDS. Yet if Spider Soul does not give license to this creative spark, it will feel as though their life's blood is slowly ebbing away or they are being drained of energy."
Now, I knew why I was so tired. Blessed Be!!! Gaia'l
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