reactons

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Permalink Reply by MoonDove Starfyre on August 4, 2011 at 10:28am

Same here... My mom is my lifesaver though.

Permalink Reply by Aspen Gale on October 14, 2011 at 11:12am

My mom has been my lifesaver many many times over. I think I have exhausted her. She is getting older now, so I don't want to keep doing it. I have to take off the training wheels so to speak. I won't always have her around. I was an only child and pretty frakin' spoiled at that. Mom's can be the best thing in the world and a person is so blessed with the love of a mother. <3

Permalink Reply by Aspen Gale on October 14, 2011 at 11:04am

My family tends to keep their distance from me regarding my issues. They have theirs too. We are all trying to work it out at a distance. When we can we support one another. But we have all also been lousy company for one another too. At one point my dad disowned like everybody in the family and all his friends he grew up with because they were depressed alcoholics and he was trying to get better and be positive. My mom who raised me agnostic is now full time going to Catholic church. She never was that but converted later. She tries to keep an open mind about how she raised me. At one point she told me my coming out of the closet with my gayness killed my step-dad (caused his pancreatic cancer). But I think she was mad. I don't think she really thought that. My aunt near by suffers from leukemia. It isn't a bad one, but she needs to be around happy people. Once after I have said it over a lifetime too frequently that I want to kill myself, my mom said I should just do it. My partner thinks people should come with automatic shutoff valves for when they are in too much pain, and just auto-die. Not a bad concept. I may have been dead years ago if that were the case. Maybe the human population would be very small then. She thinks I may one day kill myself and sees that if I really wanted to she might help me. But both of us don't believe in therapy though we are psychology majors in college. I have been for years and years in therapy and on so many different medications. Seems that my previous rock bottom in 2006 I was in a mental hospital and laid off from my job while in horrible debt, and a car crash from my medication. That was my step-dads car and he had died and it hurt so bad that it happened. I don't tell anyone at work that I have this. I just say I have allergies. In Sacramento it works. Lots of people have allergies. Or maybe they are all depressed. I have facebook and there I started a group where people can say whatever they want and feel. I made it super private. There we frequently complain about our depressions. But sometimes it is just too depressing on there because of that. Or it gets too hateful and angry. And sometimes I need a happy place to go. But I don't have one really. I found witchschool and want that to be a place where I can try to blossom my happiness. I know it is possible. I just know it is.

Permalink Reply by Sally Austin on October 14, 2011 at 7:36pm

Your right, it is possible to find or create a happy place. I hope this group helps.

Your mom sounds pretty harsh, I'm glad you didn't by into her scapegoating and I hope she learns to deal with her anger in a healthy way. But I'm glad she has helped you as well.

I'm glad we don't have auto-die or I would be dead too and I'm pretty sure the species would go extinct. We all have our moments, fortunately they pass. Sure does take it's time though.

Thank you for sharing