A pagan fiction work in progress

So this is the work i have to date.. theres not a lot to it yet, but id appreciate as much feedback as you can all give please.
What do you think of the story line suggested?
What about the characterization.. any suggestions as to character improvements, depth and personality?
The overall flow of the document so far: Is it a comfortable read? Does it flow? Do you feel involved? Are there any instances where i step out of the right tense and point of view, does it feel uncomfortable?

Three documents comprise this, but can all be viewed at:


http://www.writing.com/main/portfolio/item_id/1778383-Pagan-Novel-W...