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my latest story!!

merry meet!

i've been writing stories for like ever, and i was reading some book about the elements and it really inspired me! i started a story and i really hope you like it and if there is something you don't understand/did not get, please tell me... oh and it's like still the first part of the book so it's not finished!! thanks

Aphrodite - california

"all right girls," i started, "Today we get on the plane to Ireland, do we have everything? outfits and pjs?"

they nodded.

"toiletries?"

same response.

"magick supplies?

"Yupp!"

"and anything else like movies or games?"

they nodded.

"good, oh! do you have the potions for the airport?"

they held the bottles up

"perfect, we're set!"

we opened the our doors and stepped out.

there are other parts, tell me what you think about aphrodite and her two friends (who you would hear from more in the rest of the segments) and tell me what you think!!!

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Rev Michelle on August 18, 2010 at 12:20pm

Courtenay, can I ask what age group the story is intended for?

Permalink Reply by Cortenay Chesslan on August 23, 2010 at 11:06am

well the girls in the story are in their senior year and i guess anyone who would read it should be at least ten, i mean that's when i started reading "big books"

Permalink Reply by Rev Michelle on August 23, 2010 at 1:57pm

Could you add more to it? It's a little sparse to get the feeling for what you are wanting to get across. It would be easier to give you feedback if it was filled in some more rather than just this bit of dialogue. This small amount isn't telling us much about the characters.

Permalink Reply by MoonDove Starfyre on August 27, 2010 at 5:42pm

I have to agree, details are a great element in writing. But it will be a good YA novel. (Something that I've tried my hand in and failed miserably at...) I think that all in all I liked it.

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