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i hate when things just pile up on ya

yesterday afternoon we found out that a lump my mom has is indeed breast cancer.. i can honestly say i'm still in shock and angry. however, since she's had the lump for a while i expected it. i just kind of wanted the problem to go away. we don't know if it's malignant or benign yet, i'm hoping to call the doctor in a few minutes and see if they know yet. they are thinking they'll have to start her on chemo. she already has lung problems (copd). i mean, why couldn't it be me instead? I'm young and can handle that kind of physical strain. she's young yes, only gonna be 49 on sept 18, but she's already had a lung collapse and has copd. honestly, as long as she lives, i'll be able to deal with this. but if she dies, i know i'm gonna be lost. all the responsibility will fall to me and my brother and i will prolly be separated because he's 16 and i'm not fit to be a caregiver for him. but i'm not thinking the worst. i refuse.
before anyone offers to send me energy, I am fine. My mom though, she never shows how she really feels. just keep her and my brother in your thoughts because james isn't taking it well at all (he's already assuming she's dying because he always thinks he's gonna lose her) and mom because she needs friends. she has a profile on here too, she's on my friend's list (mari c.). thank you to those who in the past have listened to me rant and cheered me up. i can't post something like this to my friends on myspace or facebook. blessed be.

Tags: breast, cancer, friends, help, mother, support

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Comment by EchoRaven on August 15, 2009 at 12:12am: Oh my goodness.....I'm so sorry to hear this news Feyheart. :-( I really wish this wasn't happening. I can't imagine what you and your family must be feeling. My thoughts and prayers are going out to you, your mother and brother. I pray Dr. Waples will tell you that the cancer is localized and can be cured 100%. Remember, many women have beat breast cancer, and your mom can too. She just needs to keep being surrounded by love, hope and healing.

And once again, if you need someone I'm here for you....anytime, day or night. If you get on Yahoo messenger, please feel free to add me. My ID is: echo_raven.

I'll check your blog every so often to see if you have posted any new updates. And as Jai said, hang in there, my friend....

Many Blessings,
EchoRaven

Comment by Feyheart Levia Moonsong on August 12, 2009 at 7:55am: well we had the first appt/ consultation with dr waples yesterday and he said right now it looks like a stage 3 but could be a 4. he's having mom get a ct scan of her brain and a pet scan of everything else to make sure it hasn't spread and is localized. he'll be able to tell us more then. it is malignant though cuz it is cancerous and has spread to her right armpit lymph node. the scans are next week on wednesday and the appt to talk about them is the next day. thanks jai, i'll be keeping everyone posted as best as possible. my computer is still in the shop lol
mom seems to be dealing with it the best, her calm is calming my brother n me.
echo, I thanked you because I needed to think positive and you helped me do that.

Comment by EchoRaven on August 8, 2009 at 10:48am: There is no need to thank me sweetie. Since I've been through something like this before, I know how it feels, and I will do anything I can to comfort somebody else dealing with this situation. The more support a person has during a time like this, the better it can feel....even if it's only in the slightest bit.

Keep your chin up, and remember, I'm here if you need me....

Comment by Feyheart Levia Moonsong on August 7, 2009 at 11:05am: Thanks EchoRaven, I really appreciate that and I may take you up on your offer of talking when I have some time. She has an appt tuesday so I guess we'll find out more then. I'll make sure to at least keep my blog updated. thank you again so much.

Comment by EchoRaven on August 7, 2009 at 10:12am: Hi Feyheart Levia Moonsong ,

I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through something like this. I know how scary it is, because I had a breast lump last year myself and it totally tore my world apart. But by the grace of the Gods my tumor was benign, and I pray that your mother will have the same outcome as I did.

I know that you said that you don't want any energy sent to you, and I will honor your request. But please know that you can talk to me any time that you need to vent. I've been told that I'm a great listener. ;-) Feel free to e-mail me at: echo_raven@comcast.net or send me a private message through this site if you wish to talk.

And, I'll be glad to send healing energy to your mother and brother. Not only for a benign result, but for peace of mind as well. I definitely know how trying this situation is, and the more rest your mom gets, the better she will be.

Please let me know how your mother is coming along. She will be in my thoughts....

Many Blessings,
EchoRaven