I Used To

I used to be able to reach out and feel you
But something has changed

I used to be entranced by your energy
As it would surround me


I used to be able to reach up and touch you
But is it no longer the same

I reveled as your hand cupped my cheek
Entwined yet flying free


I used to listen and hear your voice calling
But now I sit in silence

I sang with you in the moon light
Dappled by the trees


I used to see you dancing about my room
Emptiness now in my chambers

I would move with you in frenzy
And feel you touch me


I reach out, you are not there
I stretch up, do you no longer care
I listen, and hear you nowhere
I move, my soul to bear

Falling back earth
Sickened with doubt, I turn inward
Meditating, I sit in silence
Visions come to me

I see parents, grandsires,
Deified ancestors back to the source
I turn and see children,
and their seed out beyond site

As I see I now know You are not out there
To be touched, heard and seen
You have revealed to me You are in here
In me to be known and loved